Recently I drove on a trip for a court case. To Harrisburg Pennslyvania. Let me repeat, that was in a car. It was for the best and we have some really great conversation, but we still drove. From Dallas, through Arkansas, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland and then through Pennslyvania. […]
So we run the gag of this guy being NM named “Obu Obu Obu” and they pan to the dad and he is STRAIGHT POSING. With not just one pose, multiple poses. One pose was not enough. Who’s dad is this? Why will someone not go and get their dad? I guess because everyone who would go get him is probably on stage.
So I used to go to chili’s a lot. When I went, I would get the bottomless chips and salsa. Every damm time. And eat tons. I mean, it’s bottomless. What else am I supposed to do here but eat them all?
I had two recent comments on facebook that I thought were decent and funny. I’m going to share them with you.
2. Gone are the days when we were looking for good schools and lower taxes. The tests today for homeownership are “where is the nearest Starbucks, does Favor deliver there, can I run through the neighborhood without getting mugged and will stuff get stolen off your porch?” 3. Stuff will get stolen off your porch.
I did a lot in 2016. Here are 5 things that I did that rocked.
“So I think that what you’ll notice is that Pulp Fiction is life. Or maybe just the parts that involve Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta talking about nothing in a car.”
“Also, I PROMISE TO GOD THAT I DON’T SOUND LIKE THAT. I don’t know why there are all these recordings of me sounding like this when I don’t sound like that.”
I went to Hawaii for 6 days in May. I had never been. It was awesome.
Haven’t we somewhat reached the era where ANYTHING the Obamas do qualifies for an award? Previous Obama winners include Gun Control Tears, song choices, having the Obama daughters at a Turkey Pardoning, and that time he used the phrase “Folks wanna pop-off” at an official thing. Like, literally anything they do should be lauded by someone.