This is all I have to say to you, Harrison.

Harrison Wright, I’m really disappointed in you.  When I first saw you on ABC’s Scandal I was really impressed.  Your smooth talk and unwavering faith were admirable.  I even forgave you for wearing awkward suit/shirt/tie combos.

I see you’re just as confused as we are about your outfit selection, Harrison. But we forgive you.

But this season you take the cake.  First you get a little too fresh with Phoebe’s sister/daughter/whatever in the first half of season 3 and then in the second half you get weak in the knees for Andan Salif and make all kinds of horrible decisions.  You let her in your office even though you know she had a bunch of people killed, you fall for the oldest trick in the book about her feeling scared and then after you give up the goods you go by yourself to confront her.  I hate to say it to someone I looked up to, but at this point…well, take it away, Menace II Society…

Tell’em, guys.  How is it that the real you can hold his own but the fake you can’t?  Even another fake you could hold his own better than this fake you.  I know there’s some hood left in you Harrison.  I expect you to do something hood to reclaim your honor in the season finale.  Don’t let me down; I found a gif that explains how I feel and I can put it on repeat.

Menace II Society.  So underrated.

Menace II Society. So underrated.

In preparing for this post I found that Menace II Society has several good one liners that apply to a myriad of situations.

We’re Past All this “Fighting For Your Woman’s Honor,” Right?

Actor Columbus Short was arrested recently on charges of Assault. It is alleged that he knocked out some dude over his girlfriend (TMZ):

Columbus Short — who plays gladiator Harrison Wright on “Scandal” — was involved in a bar fight in which the other guy ended up in the hospital and cops are now conducting a criminal investigation.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Short was at Gabe’s Bar and Grill in L.A. on March 15 at around 10:45 PM celebrating a couple’s engagement … when he started arguing at the bar with another partygoer.

We’re told the other guy pissed Short off by making a comment along the lines of, “You might be richer than me but I get my girls to buy me everything I want including your wife.”

This led me to thinking: “Does anyone still fight over their women/significant others anymore?”

Now mind you, I don’t do a lot of dating and I don’t go to bars or do a lot of drinking, so maybe it’s because I am in the wrong place to observe this, but does anyone really fight over that anymore? Do women go around thinking “I love him and want to have his children, but I just don’t know if he would fight another dude to defend my honor?” And is it a dealbreaker if they wouldn’t?

Very Smart Brothas has a list of times when it’s okay not to fight for your girl/lady’s honor. It includes the following:

1. If she kinda, sorta, had it coming (I don’t agree with this one, but it’s not my list).
2. If you’re definitely going to lose…badly (I agree with this but you really can’t tell anymore, see below).
3. If you’re definitely going to win (again, you really can’t tell anymore, see below)
4. If you’ve been wanting to break up with her for some time, but haven’t had the opportunity or guts to do it (possibly, but why couldn’t you just send a text?)
5. If you’re busy (this is hilarious “Hold on, I’m watching the game).

I’d like to add to this list: “Any day that ends in the letter Y.” This effectively means any day of the week. I have reasons:

1. You don’t know who’s going to shoot you: Sad but true. I’ll address this in a future blog entry, but we as people really don’t value human life anymore. The thought of “I’ma smoke them before they smoke me” is too prevalent. I mean, my goodness, look at what they shot Ricky for: Some absolute bull. You think they won’t shoot you too?
2. You don’t know who is a better fighter than you: In the old days you could kind of tell who was stronger and bigger than you and consequently who was a better fighter. Now, with MMA being more and more mainstream it’s gotten a lot harder. I submit the following for proof (warning: bad language and also a fight. I warned you).
3. It’s hard to get a job with a record like that: Columbus short is an actor who can act reasonably well. I mean, he’s been in Stomp the Yard and that was okay. You are probably not an actor and probably get into some sort of trouble with your job if you got into a fight. So unless you own your own business or can be in a “Soon to be released on BET” movie, don’t fight. Also, jail can be a pain. You should trust me on this.

Ladies, I would say that I’m sorry but I’m really not. This is 2014. We should be past this. You making your guy look silly for engaging in such behavior. Please stop. Here is some more evidence that proves my point, if it’s required.

Let’s take a second and remember a rowdy movie that a “Scandal” cast member was in, part 1 of unknown

A few weeks ago Columbus Short was arrested on charges of assaulting a person and knocking him out. Columbus Short is an actor on “Scandal,” which either you or your girlfriend probably watch.

For some reason this led me to remember that Short was in a move called “Stomp the Yard (pictured above),” which could probably be called a “Coming of Age” movie, but really just has a bunch of fake drama in it and a lot of stepping. Since I was in a non greek step team this interested me enough to rent this from Blockbuster, which dates me. Also, the song “Pop Lock and Drop It” was on the radio back then. Did you forget how the song went? I got you covered. Thank me later.

This got me thinking: What other Scandal personnel have been in interesting roles? Look no further than Kerry Washington, the star of “Scandal.”

Who remembers “Chenille?” Think hard about who that was…

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Yep. Kerry Washington. I guess this could be called the “Paying Your Dues” portion of her career. I’d like to take a second to embarrass you with the synopsis from IMDB:

Sara wants to be a ballerina, but her dreams are cut short by the sudden death of her mother. She moves in with her father, who she has not seen for a long time. He lives on the other side of town, in a predominantly Black neighborhood. She gets transferred to a new school where she is one of the few White students there. She becomes friends with Chenille, and later, falls in love with Chenille’s brother, Derek.

I can’t for the life of me, understand how this movie only got a 6.1 out of 10 on IMDB’s rating system. If you don’t feel silly enough, watch the trailer.

I was going to give you a video with the best quote from the movie but it’s not up right now. You’ll have to deal with a link to the IMDB quote:

Snookie: They call me Snook, the coochie crook.

I intend to do a couple of these infrequently with all of the cast of “Scandal” because it’s fun to make fun of people while they are in bad movies.